My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
