i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
