He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
