Dual....:-)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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