i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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