i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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