I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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