Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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