Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
