You don't have asthma, your pregnant
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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