trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
