i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
