hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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