For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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