she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
