Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
