He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
