the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
