I hate your face
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
