Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Can Purell be used as lube?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
