oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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