my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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