Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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