did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
