Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
