See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
