are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
