Sponge bath it is.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dignity is for republicans.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
