ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
