What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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