i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
