I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
