I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Randomize