I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize