Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
