I think i peed on brittanys purse
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
