Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
