I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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