i was born a porn star she said
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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