Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize