It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
