Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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