I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
