Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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