Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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