We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
