If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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