I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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