just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
