So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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