I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
