She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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