I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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