my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
