I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
