We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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