I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
