he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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