Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
