She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
