Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
that's an acceptable place to lick
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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