you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
