i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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