Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
