I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
